Sophie Lau

OMG!

2009-06-13T07:02:00.000-07:00

i feel so unhealthy. excess everywhere.

oh, i need to do something.

energy level needs to go up. Need to tone.

CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS.

help develop my healthy haits all over again god.

thanks

Just a poem...

2009-06-09T02:58:00.001-07:00

Was led to this poem as i began to study. Our God is a giving God.

He Giveth More Grace

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;

To added affliction He addeth His mercy;

To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,

Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,

Our God ever yearns His resources to share;

Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;

The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limit; His grace has no measure.

His pow'r has no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,

He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!

Annie Johnson Flint

2Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Classics are in...

2009-06-07T13:15:00.000-07:00

PRess Play.

Dear friends and family.

'The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you'

drop me a line if yous got something i can join you in prayer for.

loves.

Worship

2009-05-31T01:48:00.000-07:00

There is power in the words that we say.

There is power in the songs we sing.

We worship with song

to adore Him

to glorify Him ( glory = be known for what he truly is)

to remind ourselves

through music and lyrics

of the relationship we have with God through Jesus.

To love Him back, for he first loved us.

Holy and annointed one

Jesus, Jesus
Holy and anointed One, Jesus
Jesus, Jesus
Risen and exalted One, Jesus

Your name is like honey on my lips
Your Spirit like water to my soul
Your Word is a lamp unto my feet
Jesus, I love You, I love You

Memories worth a gazillion billion dollars!

2009-05-27T17:52:00.000-07:00

Random Rambling

2009-05-26T13:47:00.000-07:00

God never leaves us.

It's funny how i thought God who is so in love with me left me.

I really did.

Now I've started to pick my bible up again for devo and well, i've been really blessed lately cuase a friend of mine decided to come to my room with her bible in her dressing gown.

she said 'i came to read a psalm with you' ( sonething like that)

little did she know. i've waited all term for somebody to do that. I was encouraged to pursue God more fervantly again. and although it was really funny what we read..Psalm 49

²⁰ A man who has riches without understanding

is like the beasts that perish

( this is the normal sounding version)

this version is the one we read:

²⁰ We aren't immortal. We don't last long.
Like our dogs, we age and weaken. And die.

my misty( dog) is still strong...:D

anyways, thats just a little ramble from me..for a change.

* just remembered this old musical that i used to love...Hello Dolly... so i bought it off amazon. haha. bet you remember this one mommy. the barbara streisand one. i love it!

2009-05-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

Corrie Ten Boom writes, “If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll bedepressed. But if you look at Christ, you’ll be at rest!”

my current soundtrack

2009-05-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

"This [I] know [I] have a new life

[I am] Yours now and forever

In this life all that [I] seek

To be with You more than anything"

Salami and crackers

2009-05-15T04:50:00.000-07:00

I've had salami and crackers for lunch.
Crackers and juice for breakfast.
Herbal tea and starburst chewy candy for class to keep me awake.

why am i recording my food intake you ask?
well, i was sick a couple of days ago. wednesday to be exact.

i couldn't eat much then. every time i thought of food. well, even water it made me pukish. so, i guess today if i ahd to thank god for only one thing ( mind you i have quite a list today....not because my everyday is not as eventful, but just cause today i bothered counting them all)..yes back to my point...

if i had to be thankful for just one thing today,
i thank my father in heaven for blessing me with the ability to eat again.
:D

i think that's a huge blessing. to be able to eat when you have food. don't you?

loves! mwah xxx

For Mommy Lau

2009-05-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

What if ?

2009-04-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

if my name was marie could you ever percieve me to be the person that i actually am?

It's always bout the name of the brand of whatever you're using, wherever you're eating, which road you're using, the place you live. the name of your fish...it potrays something. it gives you an impression that leads to a decision of whether or not you would want to find out more about it.

so...

what if i called the bible a good book, would you read it then.
what if i called the liturgy of a church service, poetry expressing your thoughts, just like the simple lyrics of any song.
what if i called the book of psalms, the book of lyrics for old school hits.
what if i called the books in the new testament ppl's emails that had been cc-ed or bcc-ed to you, would you say it is boring?

sorry for the randomness .

Hymn No. 46

2009-04-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

Have I an object, Lord, below
Which would divide my heart with Thee?
which would divert its even flow
In answer to Thy constancy?
O teach me quickly to return,
And cause my heart afresh to burn.

Have I a hope, however dear,
Which would defer Thy coming, Lord -
Which would detain my spirit here
Where naught can lasting joy afford?
From it, my saviour, set me free
To look and long and wait for Thee.

Be Thou the object bright and fair
To fill and satisfy the heart,
My hope to meet Thee in the air,
And nevermore from Thee to part;
That i may undistracted be
To follow, serve, and wait for Thee.

- G.W.FRAZER

2009-04-23T12:27:00.000-07:00

Lord,

to know that you are with me.
guiding me, using me. that is enough.
why then is there this longing for what seems so far.

for the things you have promised me.
for the people i love.
for the lives that do not know you.
for more of you. to know more. to speak to you plainly.
let my heart be set upon these things.

sophie

Oh happy day

2009-04-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

A prayer.

Father,

i've had such a good day. It wasn't one of those days that would be of anyones fancy. yet, it was significant. this must be what you meant when you asked us to take sabbaths. to rest. who knew such an 'uneventful' day could bring satisfaction and focus into life.

we go on and on with plan after plan. thinking the fuller our schedules the better life we live. today, god you gave us a bright sunny day.

thank you.

this is what i did today:

i woke up earlier than usual with nothing in particular planned. not even church though it was a sunday. all i knew was i wanted to spend this day adoring god. living with him, knowing him a bit better by reading his words and hearing how he's been saying to others as well.

so i sat in the morning in my bed. read this guy's mail , paul to some bunch of people. to think that i'm reading somebody's mail .but yeah. Paul knew what he was talking bout. thought provoking. then had a good conversation with my room mate both in our beds. went for breakfast. just hung out. didnt rush. asked to go to my friend luke's church and just went. this was followeed by many conversations in lunch and under the sun out in the mitchell lawn. long boarded better than i did yesterday in the carpark today too.

now i'm doing greek. stopped half way to type this ..

but you see, i didnt do anything great when you measure it with the worlds ruler.
but why do i feel so refreshed and so accomplished. i didnt rush to do anything but still i got so much done ( technically) i didnt do charity, work and help many people,or even help run or organize anything .. but why do i feel so loved and appreciated.

my answer :
i stopped. rested. i thought bout god. who he is. how he loves. and lived accordingly. thats all.

this is the day that the lord has made. i will rejoice and be glad in it.
cant wait for tomorrow whatever comes. it's alright. :D

Insured?

2009-04-07T22:18:00.000-07:00

Whilst i was still in secondary school the one question teachers would ask me before i go for camps and outing/ activities at the start of every year is

Whether or not i have insurance?

The school needs to know what will happen and what to do if i got into an accident? will i be able to afford the medical fee. Will i get anythin if i suddenly lose a limb? what happens if i die?

the answer then was always: errr..i dont think so..i'm not insured. dont know why my mom didnt get me it then..with all the things you hear about unit trusts, i t does sound like a good deal :P
( not having things like NHS in the UK, kinda makes this necessary in msia?)

but today, my mom got me some. So i am insured.

Here's the thought:

now what? we pay money we get money when we need it.when we're in lack/disable.when we die. we save. we are always in need, we always lack something, we will eventually die.Insurance is useful and yet it still doesnt prevent us from the real issues we face. It only helps us deal with the effects of life. not life itself.

People don't NEED insurance. PEOPLE NEED ASSURANCE. Assurance that all their needs have been met. Assurance that there is no lack( satisfaction). Assurance of life even after death.

i have this assurance and i choose to spend my whole life telling others about it. I heard about it in good friday in 1999. It is the story of God loving his creation. Knowing us individually and still loving us unconditionally.

xxx

If you found today that somebody likes you, wont you want to know more about that person even if it's just for knowing sake...

this my cry...

2009-03-14T05:17:00.001-07:00

Take Off My Shoes

I’ll take off my shoes, I’m coming in,
Untie this rope, I’m staying with him,
Love of my life, I’ll live and die,
Just for the moments for my king and I.

Why did you call, why did you wait,
For someone so guilty, someone so fake.
There are no words for my beautiful song,
Now I’m in the arms of my beautiful one.

Hold me, blow all the pride from my bones,
With your fire.
Hold me, breathe on this heart made of stone,
Keep it pure.
Hold me, saviour of heaven and earth,
King forever.
Hold me, love of my life lead me on,
Through the fire, lead me on...

I’ll take off this crown and fall at your feet,
The secret of joy are the moments we meet.
How could a man with all of your fame,
Pull me from darkness and call me by name.

So hold me today, as I carry your cross,
Into the desert to find who is lost.
Look at my hands, they’re still full of faith,
God keep them clean till we finish the race.

My Awesome Sunday

2009-02-08T15:32:00.000-08:00

You know how sometimes you have something sooo good that you end up a bit speechless.

i've had on of those days.

First in the morning i'm blessed with a fender and a crazee mother of all amps with a four channel switch pedal to Borrow.
Second, realised god's presence towards the end of the song worship time.
Third, strong message that had made reference to loneliness( lies), sex(lust), and weak men. how in every good moment god leads us to the devil always dangles a counterfeit product that appears to be better....ok..i felt god speaking into my life...
fourth, lunch with youth friends. Mcd's!!!! shopping too.
fifth,had nice juice at Jac's house.
sixth, a strong man help me twist open my g2 pen which was stuck.
seventh, went to church ( http://www.thebridgecollective.com )please check this out...way cool... with lindsey and steven.

yeah...i feel refreshed lord.thank you..you know i needed that.

' in your presence we find strength to face the day..........all our fears are washed away.'

2009-02-06T23:52:00.000-08:00

compromise.

when something is exciting.
when something is new.
when we want something out of its timing.
when we lose our focus.

help.

Guide

2009-01-04T03:54:00.000-08:00

When i went to Bali in Aug 08 i hiked a volcano. it was dry unlike any track i've ever been on. Stones and dust all the way with the occasional shrub everywhere. It was unfamiliar ground besides the fact that it was cold and pitch black and i was wearing jeans, yeah it was a bit tight lar ok.

I learnt two things ( fine i learnt much more than two things..but for now lets just read it as two things i want to record in public) :

#1 : When you pee on dry dusty ground, behind a massive rock, it's darn wierd! cause you see it flow on like water on sand..hahahah

#2 : HOW and What God does as our guide in Life.

mY BALI guide :)

He leads you cause he knows the way even when it's too dark to see anything.
He talks to you as you journey on.
He answers your questions when t matters and remains quiet when it doesn't matter.
He encourages me to concentrate by giving prompting bout the terrain we're going through,.
He leads me to rest when he feels I could use a break.
He holds my hand when i'm not sure i could go on anymore.
He pulls me up when my feet fail.
He leads me in making decisions on where to place my foot on,
He warns me of slippery path.
He feeds me.
He gives me a warm cup of coffee when i'm freezing cold.
He reveals the wonders that he knows to me.
He laughs with me.
He leads me to exciting paths and even when i'm scared he talks me into it and i have a whirlwind of fun.
He knows what he's doing.
I trust him fully.

Let me never fail to remember that you are my guide, Oh Lord.

Here I come 2009

2009-01-02T09:02:00.000-08:00

Life is never filled with a bed of roses all the time.
It is never predictable.
It is never always happy.
It is hard to understand.
But, with my best friend beside me i realise that;
Life is always good and purposeful.
I am ready for this year.

I am a dreamer
Use me Lord to impact Your world
Take me higher
let me see like you..higher are your thoughts
Open the sky up
give me opportunities
Start a fire
fill me with passion
I believe
i trust you
Even if it's just a dream
all things are possible with you

Courage

2008-10-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

'We do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want. nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life.'
- GA -

Thank You God! Thanks Sha. Thanks Dae.

WHat would i do without you guys! ( not that you others dont matter ok. its with regards to this post .. cheers)

London

2008-10-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

Got to thank God for all that he has blessed me with.

1) The night before my flight, i found out that i had no accommodation available for my friend and i when we arrive at heathrow airport.( i reached london on 25th but could only get into my college on 29) We called up so many different ppl for accommodationbs but there was none. so we said to ourselves we'll just see how when we get there..come to worst...stay in a b and b..
so we prepared for the worst.. and my friend finally gave up calling..told god it was in his hands...and the next moment somebody calls offering a place where we could stay for as long as we like.

2) Our flight tickets got upgraded to business class for the first half of the transit flight..it was amazing ..we felt so spoilt and definitely blessed by god. the legs space. the food. the service...wow.

3)A stranger over the shop counter gave me a sim card for free cause he had an extra. mine wouldnt work when i tried to reload it.so he just gave a sim card to me..

4) My roommate is awesome..somebody i could get along with..i feel that what i'm going through here especially with the ppl i meet are the answers of all your prayers for i did meet good friends...that i could not only have fun and go crazy with but i could be real with them and talk about the lectures. talk about life with. they are great.. most of the ppl here are from england so it great that they actually take an effort to make me feel as home as possible..

5) i caught a flew in my first week. but they took good care of me..kept me warm..and entertained. hahah..it wasnt that bad lah..

so yeah.. god is good.. and yeah. i've learnt that god does favour and bless those who seek him regardless of the opinions of others..with all their heart..

loves.
sophie

Avril.

2008-08-28T03:41:00.000-07:00

This is so weird.

I'm finally looking forward to Avril L's concert.

My cousin Sarah Foo is like her ultimate fan. She totally loves Avril,her music and her style
( i like her style cause she's authentic but that doesnt mean i go ga-ga ).

I guess we all go through that phase of loving something so much that we choose to include/involve them in our whole lives.
We stop our days and give our time to be apart of whatever we're crazee bout.
Sarah has even talked about wanting Avril as a middle name. I'm not sure whether or not she'll change her mind about that though...eeks
I actually searched out the meaning of this name. what i found out. it's french just like mine. It means April. hmmm..

But back to the point. I'm surprised at how i'm starting to get excited about it eventhough most of the ppl around me are laughing at the fact that i'm going. Maybe it's cause i realised that I would rockin' out with little Sarah and that to me is something priceless..I think she's so cool for going all out about Avril not caring bout what others say and all.

Aunthenticity
Since I brought up the word. I think there is always something to learn from the people around you. Even Avril. I mean i dont know much about her but just by what i see on the surface.

I'm reminded of how in life we got to be authentic. Real and sincere to the people around us and also ourselves. Authentic in our faith and not leeching of a friend's or family member's faith.

Lord, i meant what i said. I dont want to make this a habit. So help me break it. Thanks for loving me the same all the time.
Love you.

Avril here I come!! ""Let me hear you say hey hey hey!""

The Desert Song

2008-08-22T22:55:00.000-07:00

I am going to start seeking God in my everyday decisions once again.

I refuse to live based on practicality.

I want a life of faith even if it leads me to radical obedience,radical sacrifice, or radical vision.

With this choice i know i might not please everyone. i may even end up alone but i know i wont be lonely. For god is always with me.

So this is me Lord, i rededicate my life. every part of me. my thought, my actions, my speech, my time, my everything. Take me and use. Guide me and lead me. Fill me once again with your spirit. Let me overflow with your word and passion that i may bless others and lead more to you. Father, i love you.

Hillsong - Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

And I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow

All of my life, In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Sleep Deprived #2

2008-08-08T00:25:00.000-07:00

Sleep is precious. Rest brings alertness, takes away emoe-ness, and helps us be better unsnappy friends. I found somethings else worth giving it up for. Conversations. especially with ppl who know that God is in love with them.

She's one of my favourites.
My Friend..
Gender : Female
Origin : Hebrew
Meaning : Gift from God, Who resembles God, Close to God.

“why don’t you blog about all your stories, people would be so encouraged”

well then, this story is for you .

Dearest You,

Dae asked me one of those days, probably realising that i mention your name quite a bit..." Since when were you close to her? Hmmm...yah, you definitely somebody older to talk to. Everyone needs somebody older." she probably doesn't remember this but i do...most vividly.

Why?

Cause for the longest time i talked to God bout not having someone older to talk to. Someone with a different yet similar perspective. Someone who loved God so much that her very speech would be flooded on how good He was without forgetting to be relevant.somebody who would scold me if i'd ever screw up instead of just judging me. there was no one..

HAHA....TIBA-TIBA. MY ITUNES IS PLAYING MICHELLE.....crazeee!

You have earned a place in my friend bubble. cause you're all that and more. .you're the person i look up to. My inspiration. for the longest time i didnt let go off certain things cause i guess i was afraid of letting of go of a person i looked up, i could easily do it now cause i realised that my friends..you especially, had taken over that place in my life. i didnt need that person to feel like taken care of. ( wah...if you still dont know who i'm talking bout then you are so blur ok...but knowing you you should know lah right)

In Proverbs 27:17 ,
Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the face of his friend..

That's you. you make me sharp..i hope i do the same for you.

Love you. Psycho-friend!

Phie

father, now what? why can't they see?

AmAzEd

2008-08-04T12:12:00.000-07:00

I'm AMAZED.
Lord,what you've done for us doesn't make sense.
HOW YOU LOVE YOUR CREATION? how you love me.....
i'm amazed .
by your Grace.
i can keep breathing because of you.
I can keep going because your grace carries me through life.
I'm amazed.
For my closest friends Lord,
they all just said they want to make you famous
with their lives.
I'm amazed.
I saw my friends sing at the top of their lungs. they cried.

i'm amazed.
For you've shown me a generation who would take their place and step up for you.

I'm amazed.

thank you Lord, for letting me see. i needed to see that other ppl can be changed by one moment.
I believe you now.

Father i pray for all of us who went for passion and caught something.
Lord lead us to live by faith with and for you. Don't allow us to forget what we felt,heard and saw.

I love You.

Sleep Deprived #1

2008-07-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

Everyday our bodies are naturally inclined to long for rest in the midst of our oh so busy schedules.
We attempt to do so much in the little time that we have.
We make decisions about what matters most.
Inevitably,we end up in moments where we have to decide on what is worth more than our rest...that in which would give us more drive and energy in return rather than just the rejuvenation of our physical bodies.

I was and still am sleep deprived.

Listen:

A couple of weeks back i decided to start watching the best tv series on earth. Yes. GREYS ANATOMY SEASON 4. There were 17 episodes all together. My days were filled with all sorts of activities. therefore the only time i had to indulge in what gave me so much joy...hehe...was in the wee hours of the night. SO I STARTED....watching episode after episode..even though i had only planned on max. 2 episodes at a time. i watched about 5 to 6 episodes at a time.

When i reached the 4th ep in a row, it hit me.

GA, wasn't just entertaining. i felt i could i relate to it. Feel what the characters were feeling. Understand why they said certain things. and most definitely also learn a thing or two from Meredith's logic of the episode. It was a lot to take in. every episode affected me. the emotions that run through my veins bothered me for they were fluctuating up and down. It was too much thought to process..but I wanted more.

i realised what it meant to be hungry. To want to know, to see, to understand it all even though you might not reach your target. I knew then what i was to "chase" something...making time for it when there's not much time to begin with.

So i spoke to God about it, telling him that i wanted to be hungry like this for His word. Cause there is so much LIFE in it. I dont want to have the excuse of it being too much too comprehend and therefore i stop. No! i want to read His word and then have to force myself to sleep. instead of the everyday norm which is falling asleep in my attempt of reading with
enthusiasm.

why? Cause i want to know my God that I call my Lord. Know his his Voice.. most of all. i want The Word of God to take it's place in my heart that whatever he says may take place in mine. CAUSE once you get the LIFE that Jesus Has brought in the world which was dead..how can you run from it.

God answered my prayer. He helped get closer to Him.you're so selfless lord.

As i spread my Love for GA which still burns bright :-).... i'm going to tell YOU bout how fantastic the word of God is if we would only seek to understand it.

So if you haven't been reading or maybe have lost your excitement bout this Word. I DARE YOU! Hunger on but don't complain that you have gastric. Go eat.

Get sleep deprived!

Tadika

2008-07-04T02:42:00.000-07:00

I've stopped teaching in kindy for a while now.

I miss my student's stories :

1) Cat's dying
2) Ultraman saving the day
3) Being angry at daddy for not buying ultraman
4) Piano Class
5) Swimming at the hotel
6) Liking mee hoon
7) Mama/Ibu this and that

I've never posted up pictures of them cute things...so here. be jealous!

MAN. I really don't like loading pics over here. So, go check it out at http://sophielau.multiply.com if you want to see more

Cheers!

My Birthday

2008-06-24T22:06:00.000-07:00

had a blast. having a blast. is there going to be more.....hmmm..
Lord, can things get any better?

loving friends and family. that's the greatest gift of all..relationships.

Death

2008-06-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

4.44p.m.

Death. To my will.
Death. To my right.
Death. To my way.

Death.

Galations 2.20

Mister God

2008-06-17T16:28:00.000-07:00

God is King. LoRD. Majestic. Big. Great. Powerful. This is who he is.

If I didn’t get it wrong. We were told to know him.

I watched ever after yesterday. Every time Danielle referred to prince Henry as your highness he stressed that he was just another man born into privilege.

So, does then mean that when we don’t know god intimately, it's only right that we treat God that way.. But the moment we know him and have a relationship with Him…we are able to interact with him casually and at the same time still acknowledge who he is.

Sometimes Lord I struggle with this. I see some speaking to you with so much respect. That when I hear the way I interact with you I feel as if I'm in the wrong. It's as though I have downsized you in a sense. But deep down you have always been my closest friend. One I can confide in, reason with, listen to, learn from… I guess God I have fallen into the whole Peter situation.

Joh 21:19 He spoke this signifying by what death he should glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, Follow Me.

Joh 21:20 Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following (the one who also leaned on His breast at supper, and said, Lord, who is he who betrays You?)

Joh 21:21 Seeing him, Peter said to Jesus, Lord, and what of this one?

Joh 21:22 Jesus said to him, If I desire that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.

What is that to me?

I have been looking everywhere. Except for my own path, my own relationship with you. I was not focused. Now I know one thing. What others go thru is their lot. What is that to me. Lord, I treasure this close relationship with you and I pray that no one would take it away or alter it. God, fill me with certainty in this way that we are related to each other. Reveal To me Lord, more of how you are in everything, How all things points to you. Teach me your word. Let it be new AND FRESH. God I don’t want to be stuck in a place where everything is compartmentalized . But Lord, teach me and connect all that I know that I may see how everything connects to you and leads to you.

I don’t want to look at the problems anymore. Open my eyes to possibilities. from Oppositions. to see opportunities.

Is this healthy?

2008-05-28T01:09:00.000-07:00

I've begun on a peculiar journey of consuming a significant amount of pills daily.

1) Malaria Prophylaxis
( going to cambodia for a mission trip..therefore precaution against such a deadly virus is necessary)
2) Ginseng capsules
3) Vitamin C
4) Clarinase ( flu-iie)

Yes. Four pills are considered many in my dictionary.

Is this really healthy? call me conventional but i still believe in taking all the nutrients i need the natural way.....

Oh well.. .

sleep early + drink water + eat pills + exercise + house chores = happy mother?

Thanks Lizzie.

2008-05-23T02:59:00.000-07:00

Carrie Underwood - So Small

What you got if you aint got love?
The kind that you just wanna give away
It's okay to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out
And just be left alone
Don't run out on your faith

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
What you've been out there searching for forever,
Is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters, after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big, at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole
While you're sittin round thinking about what you can't change
And worryin' about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count, cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
What you've been out there searchin for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

2008-05-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

Vexation has led me to Wonder...

relationship.
stalking.
infatuation.
masterpiece.

Coming Soon.....

but Dust.

2008-05-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

I wanted and needed to be scolded, but my Father responded in Love.

As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For He knows our frame;
    he remembers that we are dust.

- Psalm 103:13-14 -

"That is why the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. When he had begun to settle the accounts, a person who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him. Because he couldn't pay, his master ordered him, his wife, his children, and all that he had to be sold so that payment could be made. Then the servant fell down and bowed low before him, saying, 'Be patient with me, and I will repay you everything!' The master of that servant had compassion and released him, canceling his debt. "But when that servant went away, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him, seized him by the throat, and said, 'Pay what you owe!' Then his fellow servant fell down and began begging him, 'Be patient with me and I will repay you!' But he refused and went and had him thrown into prison until he could repay the debt.
"When his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were very disturbed and went and reported to their master all that had occurred. Then his master sent for him and said to him,
    'You evil servant! I canceled that entire debt for you because you begged me. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?' In anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he could repay the entire debt."

Discrepancies!

2008-05-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

The inconsistencies of life kicks in.
The picture of the bed of roses is flooded with weeds, thorns, and pest.
Why? Is it necessary?
to the untrained eye,It seems like an absurd situation that's inconvenient and unnecessary . believe me my eyes are trained.
But as i clear the weeds, trim the thorns and spray pesticide will my roses be damaged if i'm not cautious.

As we go through the struggles of life that's so inevitable there seems to be so much room for us to mess up what is to come next.
Our reactions shape our tomorrow.
Father, help me for i'm but dust. help me to understand and accept how others are human as you accept my humanity unconditionally.

In the end,with all these weeds etc..the rose grows stronger. It is able to withstand more. It becomes more beautiful and amazing for it has overcomed.

Once a scout, always a scout.

2008-04-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

i was sitting down thinking bout how scouting connects to god...
cause all that we do should have a god purpose or else its kinda pointless.
so i sat that i thought with god...it was tough loh..
i was a bit worried at first also cause i couldnt connect the two.
but now...i think i got it.

lately it's been like... " got to be more skilled..get the badges...discipline...respect ceremonies.."

i've forgotten the basic which got me stuck to scouts....
our honor says.... faithful to God and country...help others every moment...live according to my scout laws..
it's a about being salt and light of the world.
scouting is a training ground...it helps us and equip us to be relevant and useful to be like flvor to the world/people around us...
its not about self achievement or experience..and just fun...it's about equipping yourself with knowledge that can bless others.
that's scouting...

# knowledge: The act or state of knowing; clear perception of fact, truth, or duty. the familiarity which is gained by actual experience; practical skill

so being a scoutmaster....it's about passing what i know about blessing others to my scouts
it's not about pushing ppl to get badges...its about pushing ppl to becoming more whole as a person by attaining certain skill..
and lastly it's grounds to bring ppl to back to god.to make known his story and love.

have i been scouting with this mind set?...it's been a while since i did.

i'm going to start again...

to all scouts who loves Jesus: you with me?

empties!

2008-04-12T07:11:00.001-07:00

there are loads of songs out there. but not many are worth listening to in the end. maybe a good melody for the right situation. but thats all.

i call those empties. ( well maybe they mean stuff but if i dont get it..then in sophie's life its an empty)

i have fallen for the lyrics in this. fu-ah.

it's intense.

MELEE LYRICS

"Built To Last"

I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.

yeah....something built to last. i want that.

epiphany

2008-04-07T13:25:00.000-07:00

one who expects to receive will always be disappointed.

incomplete rambles

2008-03-13T11:26:00.000-07:00

A plan was made in the mind of my God, the creator of the universe. Before the world existed my story was formed in the fragments of his mind. I've concluded after a conversation with Shaun that my life if it were a form of media, would a be a ' series' . Yes. Like Harry Potter, Grey's Anatomy, Friends ( personally I think its more to this one)

Each season or book has it's central theme.

#1 The Birth and early childhood
- For starters, I ended up being a lefthander. I hear only 1/10 are. Anyways, this is not written statement of how special a person I am. This is just to show the detailed thoughts of God for my very existence.( I'm aware of the fact that he puts the same amount of thought into your life as well) I was a slow walker. A grumpy kid that never smiled when asked to. I loved vegetables from day one and was even called peculiar, well a bit, by my own mother. I hung on to people whom I was familiar with. I needed that sense of security. Going to mommy when I couldn’t sleep. Crying and saying I was hungry just for the sake of company whenever I felt alone.

#2 The Discovery of Identity
- One day as I sat in the front seat of my mother's car, I realized what identity was all about. I may not have known what the word was but I knew the idea. I liked it. My mother said, "You are different. not like your sister. You don't let me choose any of your clothes." .. That day I absorbed more than that. it went into my system. It was true I didn’t allow anyone to influence my taste. For starters in my clothes. I may not have looked the best at all times. But I held on to my own 'look'. I learnt from young to go against the currents. Rebel to the norm. yes a bit naughty. :)
- This was also the season where I learned truths about service. "we don’t do things cause we have to, we do it with the intention of learning. We do it well from attempt 1 and get better at it. Work is play, work is addictive if it's like that. it's education. I realized I had the ability to accomplish things with my hands. ( not till recently I realized that with god by my side, in accordance to his will, I already have what I needed, my hands and heart to accomplish his purposes set for me)
- When I was asked what I wanted to become, I said with confidence after pondering for a brief moment. TAXI DRIVER. I was seated on the shoe rack outside my house.
Yes, now when I look back I know why I said. I'll bring it up later on when necessary.

I told Shaun

2008-02-18T23:00:00.000-08:00

just wanted to apologize first.for not telling you..but I guess its ok cause you're not the keeper..(guess god prechooses ppl you can talk to bout certain things).. anyways, CF rally was awesome. besides that, you know what else is awesome? this 28 day fast and pray thingy that our (seafield) cf is going through. we're all seeing god answer our prayers and bringing breakthrough in so many areas of our lives.
well as for me, i've been praying for direction again. biase la cause senior year already and everybody just cant stop asking the ever famous question..."so..after form 6 where you going?" which i so dread. i mean the last time i asked god this he totally set me up on the road to form 6...i was certain that at that point that was where god wanted me to head to.almost got scholarship some more. i caught such a passion for teaching and yeah ..realised that i could do/wanted to do nothing else. but at the back of my mind...even from the start god reminded me that i have to leave room for change. cause that whole part was more of a "the journey matters more than the destination " phase.
so yeah i prayed and god spoke.didnt want to listen..prayed some more..he spoke again, sure or not..then rally came..and he spoke so clearly that i cant deny it no more.
shaun, i know full well now that i'm called to full time ministry.( like nothing else..this is it.. Now my general calling is kinda to just do well in this stpm..then after that..adventure.(specific calling).hehe
so....now that i know..i'm just doing my thing..continuing to try and study for my stpm, just serving like i always do..loving god and getting to know him more each day..struggling at times.relying on his grace...BUT THING IS ITS scary!! and i dont know what to do.its just all question marks.?????? everywhere. well, the usual thing that i expect to hear from anybody would be to trust in god ya di da.and that's what i'm doing..really! :)..but i think it's good thing to also seek godly counsel...so that's why I mailled the person I did.(I copied the mail..takkan I so freee to write)
ok i dont know what else to say... so thanks for reading anyways.

What tomorrow brings

2008-02-13T10:23:00.001-08:00

words fly by like air in the spaces around us. every turn and corner an uttered emotion. these few remained in my head....
Tomorrow special LOVE ARGHH!!(first time my mom and i screamed to gether in horror...no significance to all the other words..it's the odd one out if it were a puzzle..) You're soo not trying!

Valentines Overrated ..i know(my student. when i asked him whether or not he knew what tomorrow was)

it's true, when you think about it, that valentines day gives people the excuse of being mediocre in their spread of love/display of affection towards their loved ones in their everyday life. People in general forget that valentines just like christmas acts as a reminder of love... for we do need to be reminded of it at least once a year for we live such busy lives.

My two cents: Valentines reminds us to love and the fact that we are loved.

i guess even though this year is going to be totally different from what it has been, i have already been blessed by the encouragement given to me in conjunction with V' day..

so...who cares iF some might think it's corny to believe in v"day..i love it.

i read this and my day was made...for my cry of being significant was answered..
thank you sara.

"ponder and reflect for yourselves, the philosophy that is inevitable, incomprehensible, unconquerable, and the ultimate mystery of time: that silly thing called love with quotes! :) and just to make it interesting, i will leave names at the back of the quotes... :) it means they remind me of you. :)" sara lau

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. [Henry Van Dyke] (isn't this a beautiful quote?) Sophie. Garrett. :)

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
[Mother Teresa] Sophie :)

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. [Mother Teresa] Joshua Y. Sophie. :)

We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love. [Mother Teresa] Sophie. Esther. :)

I know of only one duty, and that is to love. [George Bernard Shaw] Sophie. Abel :)

God, I don't have great faith, but I can be faithful. My belief in you may be seasonal, but my faithfulness will not. I will follow in the way of Christ. I will act as though my life and the lives of others matter. I will love. I have no greater gift to offer than my life. Take it. [Real Live Preacher] All us of who are desperate for a cause bigger than ourselves."

This is what i got today....what tomorrow brings thats another story..love you lord. :)

Imbloggingagain

2008-02-12T13:50:00.001-08:00

If my life runs on the blogs time line..
then i am truly apart of a tragic tale..
for although i mapped out and got so excited for the coming year
it seems as though i never got to it.

not much time to blog anyway. will continue when i have my two cents to say

but for now i just wanna declare that

I REALLY THANK GOD FOR EVERY PERSON HE PUTS IN MY LIFE especially the ones i can confide in for they have truly been a blessing and a signboard to point me back to god everytime.

Prelude

2007-12-28T22:53:00.001-08:00

Every book has an introduction. An exciting event maybe. Something new and fresh marking the end of what was and the beginning of what is to come. Sometimes its the authors thoughts and feelings towards the tale written be it fiction or his/her reality.

my perceptions have changed. i was shocked. my friend, being a fussy eater shares my joy. my taste.once AGain i've seen her enjoy the taste of food the way i do after such a long time. "Chai buoy" ..or whatever she calls it in her canto..
the updated list: classic, SR,sipahh, Chai buoy..

i've said it! What God has laid upon my heart. his good and pleasing and perfect will for my life which can't run from. it has consumed every part of me. not my will but his in and through me. telling my mom was the scariest moment of speech i've ever had. the phrase .." i'm confused.." still rings in my ear.. who would have thought she would have reacted that way...supportive and submissive to her Lord's will. Wait till i finally break it to dad..boy! just wait...thank you friends who held my dream with me.

Coach is leaving for NS in two hours.

Josh left for the states.

The new day is coming. God leads us into exciting things when we allow him to have full control. if we sit back and let him take the wheel the ride will be amazing. the view spectacular. the ppl met never a coincidence.
ministry a mission. not plain service. God i commit 2008 into your hands. Grow me! you 're all i want all i need. everything i have, i've placed at your feet. love you father, Phie.

My Happy Ending

2007-12-11T01:39:00.001-08:00

Never knew i could relate to a Mika Song. i feel it.

Happy Ending

This is the way you left me,

I'm not pretending.

No hope, no love, no glory,

No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,

Like it's forever.

Then live the rest of our life,

But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life

Can't get no love without sacrifice

If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well

A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told

No hope, or love, or glory

Happy endings gone forever more

I feel as if I feel as if I'm wastin'

And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,

I'm not pretending.

No hope, no love, no glory,

No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,

Like it's forever.

Then live the rest of our life,

But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind

Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around

If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep

I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told

No hope, or love, or glory

Happy endings gone forever more

I feel as if I feel as if I'm wastin'

And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,

I'm not pretending.

No hope, no love, no glory,

No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,

Like it's forever.

Then live the rest of our life,

But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love

Little bit of love, little bit of love

I feel as if I feel as if I'm wastin'

And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,

I'm not pretending.

No hope, no love, no glory,

No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,

Like it's forever.

To live the rest of our life,

But not together.

just hear those.....

2007-12-05T13:46:00.001-08:00

My neighbours are singing again....
Do you think they'll stop if i choose to sing as loud as them?

"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
ring ting tingling too!!!!!"

no respond.
oh well.

Friends

2007-12-01T11:28:00.001-08:00

I had an amazing time of prayer yesterday.After which i felt empowered by God and felt my burdens drift away and the cries of my heart heard.
I remember asking God to build my faith, to bring me Forward in my walk with him. Lead me into new seasons, testimonies and faith.

He answered. not how i expected but he did.

i didnt have to listen to a sermon or hear words from any leader. he spoke to me through a situation.

Now my perspective has change. His favor has taken its effect in my life.
thank you so much lord. you heard my cry and answered.

When i started this blog i told myself never to use it to complain or put others down. so i'm not going to tell what happened. but this is what i learned.

There are so many types of ppl in our lives...these are the friends that i have and am thankful for

1) Family..
2) the best friend
3) Gift of an answered prayer
4) faithful
5) inspiration
6) comrade
7) listener
8) voice
9) mentor
10) crush
11) love
12) childhood
13) support
14) pillar
15) shoulder
16) loyal
17) the one that makes me smile
18) i'm proud of
19) mini me
20) health freak
21) keeper

And the list goes on..

somebody in my life asked me do i have die hard friends?
(those who would stand with me when my world crashes)
immediately all i could do was smile..cause i knew i did. not one but many. *one already died for me though and that's Jesus.

my friend got hurt yesterday because of somebody i hung out with.
so many thoughts passed through my mind. anger,disappointment, regret, but now i know god used the situation to open my eyes about the ppl i mix with. i have to watch who i hang with cause i may be influenced, or hurt others when i'm with them.even when my intentions are the best.

loves phie.

shaun you know you're a blessing right?i love you loads.three cheers for the bestest friend ever. will pray for you.

...

2007-11-22T13:32:00.000-08:00

it's times like these that brings me to realize that
God has my back..
pressing on towards the goal. not looking back.
just two more weeks.
then a new chapter begins.

i wish he could not go and stay here. but i know it'll be selfish.

Success!????

2007-11-12T16:06:00.000-08:00

whoa..

i spent the whole day like studying.
Thanks to my study buddies,wei hsiang and vikram
i have reached kiasu mode..hahahah

reality: time is short. not sufficient. syllabus is large and heavy.

Hope: God. The super one who created me, who holds the earth in the palm of his hands, he's the ultimate Physicist, Chemist, Math Whiz,and all knowing god who has all general knowledge and so much more at the tip of his fingers. yup. he's with me 24/7.

so do i have to worry. i guess not.he works everything out for the good of those who love and trust him.

thank you Lord, for the rainbow. your promises are true and you are faithful. your grace is enough for me Lord. when i am weak, I am strong. for you work best in my weaknesses.

6 days to go...

loves. phie

>>so little time, so much to do. i 'd rather spend more time with you - walking is never the same with anyone else.-

GAH!!

2007-11-08T11:48:00.000-08:00

if you havent spoken to me in a long time...

i like the word gah.. it expresses frustration, relieves stress..speaks my mind when i'm tired and filled with clutter.

GAH!!!!!!

much better..

11 days and counting...oh no!!

an apple for her!!

2007-11-06T15:51:00.001-08:00

you know how in old movies..those kids would always be walking to school with a few books bounded together with the string thingamajiggy..in one hand and an apple in the other...

if i was that kid..i'll give my apple to this one teacher...pn Chuah.

why?? Cause she's like the best teacher ever!!!!!!
>>she's like always there...sent from above.
>>see i hate asking ppl for help. i guess maybe i see it as myself admitting my weakness. anywho..i was struggling bad with my math. So finally i decided that i was going to ask someone to help me. who better than my trusted math teacher. thing was i had to much pride(i think that's the right word to use)in me..and couldn't utter those words..played it out repeatedly in my head..i even practiced...."teacher,i'm struggling..nono..teacher are you free..no.erm...i cant understand this lah. OH FORGET IT LAH...i dont need help."

well, in the end those word dissolved from vocab..i wanted help. and i knew she was the only one fit for the Job. so i finally asked her. mana tau..she was leaving for camp on Thursday..and will only be available on monday and tuesday night. she didnt mind me coming over and helping me out..

so i just came back from her place. and you know what she offered to help next week too. so it wasnt just a one time pity thing. it was an .. ok i'll do what i can to help you...

two days ago i was defeated, for i thought help would not come. there was no motivation. but now knowing that one person would go all the way for me even when she doesnt have too makes me want to give all that i got into this..

God..thank you so much for this. i needed it so badly. thank you for lifting me up this time. love you Lord. bless pn chuah too Lord cause she's been an awesome teacher.

phie

Run baby run!

2007-11-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

THe oddest thing happened today...my friend ran away from home. cute thing was my friend only ran for a few hours but brought enough stuff to last at least two days.haha. my fault my friend failed but oh well.

i guess sometimes we all want to just want to leave and runaway from it all. whatever it may be fights, exams, stpm(haiyo!) but how many of us actually do it.......well, although i dont encourage anyone else to run away when things happen i must say that it took guts and strong will power to run like my friend.

but in the end when you think about it, running never does anyone any good. unless you're in a race or somesort. hmmm. reminds me of the story of Jonah. he didnt want to get in too deep with things. he wanted the more convenient path of life..unfortunately by running things got worst for him.

When it comes to issues,i guess good ol' confrontation and god given patience is the way to go.

Lesson learnt today: Life's tough. Even when we don't like whats happening right in front of us, we shouldnt run. we're made to face things head on..check out the armour of god, realise that there's nothing protecting our backs. When we're just confused, we can just stand there, but never run!

thank you God for today, man! that word from ps phillips hit me right at home. God i want to worship you for all you are. teach me to be selfless in worship. sorry for making it about me so often.when it's bout you. teach me Lord everyday,

i'm pondering bout this now: is our worship to God reflecting heavenly worship? are the songs we're singing in line with the word of god or just a bunch of nice sentences which triggers our emotions...?

loves.

my nose feeling

2007-10-30T02:20:00.000-07:00

what a feeling, this nose feeling, the heavy feeling of tears going through every part of your face yet not coming out as drops of water...just an irritating sensation. i think i'm stressed. Stpm is coming! i dont think i can ever be ready. i feel like i'm going to war with empty guns and tanks that dont work. the only thing that is keeping me on my feet is the hope of surviving it and having a few more stories to tell.
LIzzie said i sound defeated. maybe i was but after thinking of how i would feel in march once i get my results back, i really dont want to be stuck with the " i should have at least given it my all" regret. so ok i'm going to give it my all. no giving up. anyway time and time again god reminds me that all he wants me to do is give my best in this and he'll do the rest. from the beginning he let me to this he's bring me through it.

yesterday was filled with so many different kinds of emotion. can you actually die of excessive/frequent emotional changes? i wonder.

BREAKING NEWS>>> MY maid's going home!
of all things i never thought this could happen.she going off early. why?she didnt get fired.haha. we're allowing her to terminate her contract cause she has to get home for her eldest child, 7 years old..is really ill. we've concluded it's because she misses her mom real bad. my maid Anna said she wouldnt want to go if it wasnt serious. as she related her story to me, i could help but think of how things will be so inconvenient once she leave which is most probably this week. but after realising how hard it must be for her i told god, that i didnt mind the inconvenience if it meant blessing her by letting her go at once. i really felt for her, soon after my conversation all i could do was get into the toilet and cry. i prayed for her too though.. ..

OMG!!! no maid. exams. house chores. what next? well at least i'm not alone in all this.

god, i need your strength to carry on. life's getting more and more challenging. teach me to see it as an opportunity for growth. love you. thanks for not leaving me even when i'm a jerk sometimes. thanks for james 1:19-20 and speaking through dana. i needed that. i'm going to try. loves

Guilty!

2007-10-28T12:22:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be studying. my finals are creeping in like the scary monster in Goosebumps. you know the oozy thingy that goes under your door. not panicking. nope i simply refuse to. i felt the need to to type my thoughts lately. so in the end blogging didn't seem all that bad. sure saves my phone bill. just type it down.hmmm. hope this helps with getting my thoughts out there instead of being swallowed up by oh..my extremely terrible and disappointing memory.

so...this is my blog!

ATTEMPT #2
god inspire me to keep it up..love you.

Chemistry time...

loves.

Raw Feelings

2007-08-28T15:36:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in the midst of my exams. It is as though these past weeks I havent been living.

all of sudden, oh I wish it weren't so. I long to live a life that isnt so routine like..do new things

meet new ppl, get to know my other friends whom I have neglected. I realised and

concluded that I have officially been peeking into everyones life and parasiting over what

happens in their lives.

yes! I call it… life parasiting.

I never thought such a thing existed till now. We get so caught up about someones lives.

what happened to them today. What they felt,what they ate…. A tv program. A celebrity..

What others think….how I can do what I do for them….i stop functioning as a person. I become a slave to everything around…..making decisions based on what others thought. No stand…giving in all the time. Allowing myself to die slowly…my will.my wants. Things that interest me. Things that I want to do…..so much so that I don’t know how to interact with ppl anymore…I miss the ability I had to talk to many ppl.. I want my life back god.

Could you help me with my identity again…

Help me to stop clinging to others… I just want to clinging to you.

Lord I want a more interesting life..i'm fed up of the mediocre. I want to move up another level of faith…another lifestyle. Lord

Time to change…I could cry about it. I could even whine. But lord I knoe it does nothing. Ok lord…

Lets see step 1:

J Who is Sophie Lau?

I am sophie lau. I am a souled out Christian. I love my JeSUs sooo much… he loves me that's why..

I thrive on living everyday for him. Makes my day complete. To talk about him.
I'm a girl. I'm starting to like the idea of dressing up. Not so much of the pretty side to it..but the "look how I feel part" it's an art that I indulge in nowadays. To dress my mind…to shout what I want to say through what I'm weAring.

I love thinking of new ideas. Coming up and getting involved in projects. I love how it feels to have to meet a dateline. The fulfillment you get in blowing off ppl's expectations. Surprising them as I push myself to get things done out of the box.

I love to think bigscale… for I hold on to this saying…if you're going to do it, get it done big.go all out. As if its your last. Throw in what ever you can to make it. convincE others and
Let them join me in this…

Guess I do this cause I believe that there is no limits when God backs us up..then it's really important that I do what god wills..or not I'll be wasting my time.

I hate failures.it's painful.but I 've learnt that It does me good. It breaks me up but allows me to be glued back together even stronger.

I'm not really the type that talks a lot. I prefer to just do things. Think about things ..i'm actually not a very fast talker. I find it hard to engage in small talk. I'm not very patient. And sometimes It gets the better of me. And I start judging others

I love to give to ppl. And I think everybody matters as much as I do. Especially their opinions. With ppl I care about I tend to give in to their preference…except if it doesn’t fit with god's. I enjoy doing this eventhough sometimes it’s a bummer cause I don’t get to do the things I want to..

I love to speak into ppl's lives ….. But lately I realised I have nothing much to say cause I havent been talking to ppl much…I feel as though I have lost touch with ppl. I sit alone in youth at times. Just unable to connect to ppl. This frustrates me…cause it happens in school too. Guess I'm just built like that..every few days I console myself telling myself that I have a group that I can fall back to…but then again it's more of individuals.

Ok enough clicking already. Now I need to start talking to others. If I'm not a group person..'m going to try something new by starting to talk in a group..

God this is not to change my self image or whatever…but more of a time to grow up and learn these things…I don’t want to end up doing only the things that I'm comfortable with. I'm going to do new things…talk to new ppl…help me not to be judgmental
Anymore…

No more I'm not this kind of person. I want to develop the ability to be adaptable and approachable and available once again….hahah

God would you restore the joy that I had in me…the life that comes in conversations with me. I don’t want to be boring. I want to do things.. And not have to wait for my friends to these things. God would you enable me to do all this.

To locate my initial identity and that is my identity in you;…the one that pleases you and not just the one that makes me fit in…..god! I need you once again. All the time.. Sorry for just spending so much time with others and caring more about them then anything else…it was as though I was just existing…lord I want to live..

Lord I commit my life to you once again..forgive me for the things I have done.. I thank you lord for what you have done in my life for saving me from the power of sin and giving eternal life. Lord I want to start live that abundant life again.. Father equip me and empower me once again.

Firstly lord, I want to be a blessing to ppl…father would you put me into all sorts of adventures…all sorts of diff situations….all sorts of diff experiences that leads me to you.

Looking to you now and forever.

God even the music I want to listen because I like and not because others love it.

Let them learn my songs.. Hahhah…

So god ..you're with me right. I cant do this without you…transform me to something pleasing to your will. I'm choosing to stand up now.

Direction

2007-07-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

It is time...time to make decisions once again. Those I dread making for the consequences of my so called logic actually matters. It's where and what I'm going to up being. I knew that all I wanted and had to do was to do what God wanted. And just as he led me to Form 6, inspiring me to teach. He'll lead me to my next stop when I lost my way.

Nope. I didn’t loose my passion for the teaching profession. But after a year I have gained perspective. I realized that the taxi ambition I had in me can't be fully met with the education line.. As I was heading back from my scout dinner one Saturday night I realized what I was doing all this time….my juniors of five years have finally passed on the baton of leadership to the next batch. For me it was a bitter sweet moment. I felt a deep sense of contentment for I was apart of their life and god has used me to impact their life in one way or another. shaping them to be better than I was. Passing on just whatever I knew just by influence alone most of the time. Not preach to them but just doing what I believe in and sticking to it…they see it and they learnt.

I was in such awe cause that whole night was to appreciate them. I was old news. Just a bystander who was appreaciated by those getting recognition. There wasn’t a big celebration for the person responsible( just a bit)for what they have turned out to be. There were only silent smiles of apreciation and glances of thank yous and love from them…althought little it may seem. That was the greatest honor for me.

It has grown in me. This passion to ferry ppl to their destination. I experiencing it once and then leading others and letting go to experience and achieve greater. That's my purpose I believe.

So now the question was…. Do I want to teach math or a language like english? Am I passionate to see lives be empowered by fluent use of language?

Or Am I interested in teaching ppl how to live? How do I do that? Is God calling me..was this why I was made?