God is in every detail of my life.i know he is even when i struggle and even give up.When all is good rosy and pink and i grow ignorant of his role in my life he remains loyal.When i cant see him at all,if i pause and shout from deep down..he opens my eyes and i see him again.I hope as i share my life with you..you will begin to see what god is doing.This is For Me To Remember.For You To Be Blessed.But most of all,For God To Be Glorified>>>>>This is my story.

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

my nose feeling

what a feeling, this nose feeling, the heavy feeling of tears going through every part of your face yet not coming out as drops of water...just an irritating sensation. i think i'm stressed. Stpm is coming! i dont think i can ever be ready. i feel like i'm going to war with empty guns and tanks that dont work. the only thing that is keeping me on my feet is the hope of surviving it and having a few more stories to tell.
 LIzzie said i sound defeated. maybe i was but after thinking of how i would feel in march once i get my results back, i really dont want to be stuck with the " i should have at least given it my all" regret. so ok i'm going to give it my all. no giving up. anyway time and time again god reminds me that all he wants me to do is give my best in this and he'll do the rest. from the beginning he let me to this he's bring me through it.

yesterday was filled with so many different kinds of emotion. can you actually die of excessive/frequent emotional changes? i wonder.

         BREAKING NEWS>>> MY maid's going home!
of all things i never thought this could happen.she going off early. why?she didnt get fired.haha. we're allowing her to terminate her contract cause she has to get home for her eldest child, 7 years old..is really ill. we've concluded it's because she misses her mom real bad. my maid Anna said she wouldnt want to go if it wasnt serious. as she related her story to me, i could help but think of how things will be so inconvenient once she leave which is most probably this week. but after realising how hard it must be for her i told god, that i didnt mind the inconvenience if it meant blessing her by letting her go at once. i really felt for her, soon after my conversation all i could do was get into the toilet and cry. i prayed for her too though.. ..

OMG!!! no maid. exams. house chores. what next? well at least i'm not alone in all this.

god, i need your strength to carry on. life's getting more and more challenging. teach me to see it as an opportunity for growth. love you. thanks for not leaving me even when i'm a jerk sometimes. thanks for james 1:19-20 and speaking through dana. i needed that. i'm going to try. loves



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